There’s many ways could lead us to Rome.
But only one way that could lead us home:
the way that lies from someone’s heart
who’ll never be expired of waiting
our uncertain arrival….
This entry was posted on Mei 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm and is filed under Poetry . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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4 Tanggapan to “HOME”
I’m sorry, I have to correct your writing. I don’t patronize you in this regard. You may learn from my mistakes, too, and get some lessons from others. Yet, I found there are few grammatical errors. So, I’ve tried to grasp your idea, here and there, and here it is:
There [are] many ways [that] could lead us to Rome.
But only one way that could lead us home.
The way that [comes from][or, “lies in”] someone’s heart.
Who’ll never be [tired? Why “expired”?] of waiting …
Our uncertain arrival … [Find other expressions?]
Good idea, I must admit, you have. Need a bit tweaks here and there.
Three lessons are:
#1: Improve your English by reading short-story telling e.g., magazines (New Yorker can be a good start for an artist just like you). Memorize or take notes on the choice of word, phrases and expressions put therein.
#2: A fine grammar is the basic you must comprehend entirely. Word power takes you to go beyond anything. Look up the dictionary and thesaurus as many times as possible. Do it right or you’ll get nothing.
#3: Express your thoughts or feelings in simple and short sentences, too. Point out main idea in an order or a way as crystal clear. Many repeats may get bored of the audience or make your idea dull for them.
Perfect practice makes perfect. You will see the difference.
Thanks for your grammatical correction. But in art’s context, like poetry or song-lyric, you can find a millions gramatical error, even in a works of the expert one. Intendedly, they ignored a grammatical rules to suit the most representative expression for their work. Here I give you some examples :
“There’s a lot of people saying we’d be better off dead”
“There’s a thousand points of light for a homeless man”
(NEIL YOUNG on ROCKING IN A FREE WORLD lyric)
“She don’t want him… she won’t feed him…”
(EDDIE VEDDER on NOTHING MAN lyric”)
Anyway, thanks for your attention, I really appreciate that.
In poetry, a grammatical use is even more flexible than any others writing form. Many poets deliberately pour the words free from formal fixations to explore a different styles of writing, under legitimation of “licencia poetica”.
Anyway, sorry for my lousy grammar. You’re right, I should learn more, maybe from my neighbor’s blog🙂
“Even if someone you love doesn’t love you, don’t be bothered. Go on…”