HAVE I WASTED MY PRECIOUS TIME?
It is late at night. As usual, I’m still fully wide awake, doing everything and nothing at once: checking my social networking’s update, jump from one to another TV channel randomly, playing continuous football game on my cellphone, etc. That’s how I spend the time when most people are taking a leisure in the secret place somewhere else, having the best rest in their sleep. But here I am, senselessly trying to write down every single thing that disturb my mind.
Suddenly something pops up inside my head, forcing me to contemplate my fate from a deeper view: What kind of life I am living right now? How do I get here? Which direction I will be heading? What kind of future is waiting for me there? I just realized the importance of those questions, which will determine the purpose of my whole life. It makes me wonder: How could I never take them seriously before? I used to be an ignorant person, letting everything passes without trying to seize something from it. My dreams are leading me to nowhere, only a bunch of silly ambitions that find no embodiment in reality.
Is it too late for me to start all over again? Have I wasted my precious time?
(Ciamis, December 2nd 2008, 02.45-03.35 a.m)